30 Pieces
“[Judas] went to the chief priests and said, ‘What are you willing to give me if I hand Him over to you?’”
In today’s Gospel, we watch Judas gauge how much Jesus is worth to him. At some point, he must have decided the price he would accept for Jesus. At some point, he must have decided that 30 pieces of silver were worth more than the Lord. At some point, he started asking the question, “If I forsake Jesus, what will I get in return?” And I’m convicted by it.
Upon closer examination, it turns out that I forsake Jesus all the time. I forsake Jesus in dating because I’m afraid men will think I’m too intense. I forsake Jesus at work because I think I’m more likely to get a promotion if I don’t bring Him up. I forsake Jesus with my family because I don’t want to be viewed as a religious weirdo. Without even realizing it, my reasons turned into excuses and,
I’ve forsaken Jesus.
It’s so easy to point at Judas and make him the villain. And we wouldn’t be wrong - He did a terrible thing. But he’s an easy target. Sisters, is my betrayal really any different? Is my promotion worth more than He is? Do I really want a dating relationship that doesn’t include Jesus? Is it worth denying God full access to my life because I’m worried about what other people think? In every case, I’ve forfeited Jesus for the approval of others. And all of a sudden, I’m no different than Judas.
The approval of others - that’s my 30 pieces of silver. Sisters, I don’t want to forsake Jesus for the approval of other people anymore. Today, I’m repenting. Today, I’m coming back to the Lord. I’m not going to follow Judas and his 30 pieces of silver to the tree that claimed him. I’m going back to the One who loves me to hand over my messy, selfish, ugly 30 pieces. I’m going back to repent and believe.
This Wednesday before Triduum, I invite you to do the same, to dig deep, to search your heart and examine your mind. What’s your “30 pieces of silver?” What’s the thing you forsake Jesus for? And when you see it, will you repent and believe?
Father,
Thank You for showing us the places that we forsake You, but never leaving us there. Thank You for offering us forgiveness and freedom. Thank You for revealing to heal.
God, help us to repent. Open our eyes so that we can repent before Easter. Teach us something new about Your mercy, and shine a light on the broken places today so that our hearts enter into this Triduum totally saturated with gratitude. Connect us to Your cross and resurrection this Friday so that we can understand more deeply the sacrifice that You made and the debt that we can’t possibly repay.
God, we love You. Give us the courage to surrender our 30 pieces and come back into communion with You. Amen.